“Conduct of Their Fathers”

K. Douglas Bassett

Jacob 2:35; 3:10; Moses 7:37; D&C 68:25; 93:40-50; Matt. 17:6; Psalm 78:8; refer in this text to 2 Ne. 4:6

“One of the greatest things a man can do for his children is to love his wife and let them know he loves her. A father has the responsibility to lead his family by desiring to have children, loving them, and by letting virtue garnish his thoughts unceasingly (see D&C 121:45). This is one of the great needs today.” (Ezra Taft Benson, God, Family, Country, p. 185)
“Husbands and wives who love each other will find that love and loyalty are reciprocated. This love will provide a nurturing atmosphere for the emotional growth of children. Family life should be a time of happiness and joy that children can look back on with fond memories and associations.” (Ezra Taft Benson, Conference Report, Oct. 1982, p. 59)
“We are actively engaged in teaching fathers to be compassionate fathers, and mothers full-time mothers in the home. Fathers are commanded to take the lead in all spiritual matters. We encourage parents to teach their children fundamental spiritual principles that will instill faith in God, faith in their family, and faith in their country. We plead with parents to spend time with their children, both in teaching them and in building positive relationships. These are the things that create and foster strong family units and a stable society.” (Ezra Taft Benson, BYU, June 29, 1986)
“In the past twenty years, as homes and families have struggled to stay intact, sociological studies reveal this alarming fact: much of the crime and many of the behavioral disorders in the United States come from homes where the father has abandoned the children. In many societies the world over, child poverty, crime, drug abuse, and family decay can be traced to conditions where the father gives no male nurturing… . We need to honor the position of the father as the primary provider for physical and spiritual support. I state this with no reluctance because the Lord has revealed that this obligation is placed upon husbands… . (D&C83:2, 4; 84:99; 29:48). No one would doubt that a mother’s influence is paramount … . Fathers seem best equipped to prepare children to function in the environment outside the family. One authority states, ‘Studies show that fathers have a special role to play in building a child’s self-respect. They are important, too, in ways we really don’t understand, in developing internal limits and controls in children.’ He continues, ‘Research also shows that fathers are critical in establishment of gender in children. Interestingly, fatherly involvement produces stronger sexual identity and character in both boys and girls. It is well established that the masculinity of sons and the femininity of daughters are each greater when fathers are active in family life’ (Karl Zinsmeister, ‘Do Children Need Fathers?’ Crises, Oct. 1992)… . I urge the husbands and fathers of this church to be the kind of a man your wife would not want to be without.” (James E. Faust, Ensign, May 1993, pp. 35-36)
“Fathers, if you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, … if you wish them to be obedient and united with you, love them! and prove to them that you love them by your every word or act to them… . However wayward they might be, … when you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger; do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly… . Use no lash and no violence but … approach them with reason, with persuasion and love unfeigned. With this means, if you cannot gain your boys and girls, … there will be no means left in the world by which you can win them to yourselves.” (Joseph F. Smith, Liahona, The Elders’ Journal, Oct. 17, 1911, pp. 260-261)
“You adult brethren, may I suggest an ‘I will’ for us … It is I will resolve that the leadership of family will be my most important and sacred responsibility; and I will not leave the teaching and governance of my family to society, to the school, or the the Church… . Perhaps you have heard some say, ‘I am so busy with living and providing that I have little time to devote to my family, but I make an effort to see that my limited time is quality time.’ Brethren, this type of rationalization is severely flawed. Effective family leadership requires both quantity and quality time… . May we never be too busy to do the things that mater most; to preside in righteousness in our homes… .” (H. David Burton, Ensign, Nov. 1995, pp. 44-45)
“When my wife and I were first married, my parents lived in another state… . We decided to go visit them… . After sundown, with two hours of travel still to go, we decided to play a game… . We said to the small boy in back, ‘Let’s play hide-and-seek.’ … We said, ‘Close your eyes and don’t open them until we call you.’ A front-seat passenger would crouch down in the seat and 10 or 15 seconds later would call, ‘Okay.’ Our son would bound over the seat and say, ‘Aha, I found you!’ We would say, … ‘Close your eyes again.’ A minute or more would go by. Then we would call, and again he would energetically climb over the seat to find us. Finally we said, … ‘Close your eyes and we will call you.’ … We drove along in silence… . We must have traveled 15 miles before we began to whisper quiet congratulations to ourselves on the success of our devious game. Then, from out of the backseat, came the sobbing voice of a heartbroken little boy. ‘You didn’t call me, and you said you would.’ ‘You didn’t do what you agreed to do.’ What a terrible accusation… . We knew that we could never play that game again.” (F. Burton Howard, Ensign, Nov. 1995, p. 53)

Latter-Day Commentary on the Book of Mormon

References