Lehi was concerned for the salvation of his grandchildren and great grandchildren. Doubtless, he was familiar with the scriptures like Ex 20:5-6, I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me. And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. Lehi wanted Laman and Lemuel to be held responsible for the mistakes of their children. It was because of this blessing that the Lord God will not suffer that ye (Lehi’s grandchildren) shall perish; wherefore, he will be merciful unto you and unto your seed forever (v. 7).
A careful review of the scriptures reveals that parents can be held responsible for some of the sins of their children but children cannot be held responsible for the sins of their parents. Parents can only be held responsible for the sins of the children if they were negligent in teaching them of their duties. This is similar to the responsibility of prophets—if they don’t call the people to repentance they can be held responsible for the sins of the people (Ezek 33:4-6, Jacob 1:19). Speaking of parents who do not teach their children the basic principles and ordinances of the gospel, the Lord has said, the sin be upon the heads of the parents (DC 68:25). See also DC 29:47-8. This is an exception to the general rule as taught by Ezekiel, The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son (Ezek 18:20). Therefore, it is just for God to hold Laman and Lemuel responsible for the sins of their children because they were negligent parents.
Joseph Fielding Smith
"The scripture in question is as follows: ’... visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.’
"The second Article of Faith reads: ’We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.’
"…What your question means, as I interpret it, is this: You have an idea that the commandment means that when a man sins his children will be held responsible for his folly and be punished for it, for three or four generations. The commandment does not mean anything of this kind. The Lord never punishes a child for its parents’ transgressions. He is just and merciful. The real meaning of this visiting of the iniquity is that when a man transgresses he teaches his children to transgress, and they follow his teachings. It is natural for children to follow in the practices of their fathers and by doing so suffer for the parents’ iniquity which they have voluntarily brought upon themselves.
NUMEROUS PASSAGES SHOW MERCY AND JUSTICE
"There are numerous other passages of scripture showing the mercy and justice of the Lord and that they are not to be punished for the fathers’ transgression. Here are a few:
"’The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.’ (Deut 24:16)
"’But the children of the murderers he slew not: according unto that which is written in the book of the law of Moses, wherein the Lord commanded saying, The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, nor the children be put to death for the fathers; but every man shall be put to death for his own sin.’ (2 Kings 14:6)
’In those days they shall say no more, The fathers have eaten a sour grape, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.
But every one shall die for his own iniquity: every man that eateth the sour grape, his teeth shall be set on edge.’ (Jer 31:29-30)
’The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him.’ (Ezek 18:20)" (Answers to Gospel Questions, vol. 1, pp. 82-3)
Gordon B. Hinckley
“Parents haven’t measured up to their responsibilities. It is evident. A nation will rise no higher than the strength of its homes. If you want to reform a nation, you begin with families, with parents who teach their children principles and values that are positive and affirmative and will lead them to worthwhile endeavors. That is the basic failure that has taken place in America….parents have no greater responsibility in this world than the bringing up of their children in the right way….” (Ensign, Nov. 1996, pp. 48-9 as taken from Latter-day Commentary on the Book of Mormon compiled by K. Douglas Bassett, p. 99)
Spencer W. Kimball
“Though the parents are not always charged with the failures of their children, we are sure that many times the failures of the children could be charged to the parents….We realize that there are times when belligerent sons and daughters may draw upon themselves the condemnation, having totally ignored and failed all the teachings that have been given them. But we the parents cannot escape the responsibility that is ours of training our children…. As we think of these young people who rebel against their parents and society, we wonder, have you held your family prayers with regularity? Do you have your family home evenings regularly? Are your children taught to be faithful and true? Most parents protect their children with shelter for their comfort, tender care and medicine for their illnesses, clothes for their looks and comfort, and food for their taste and growth, but what do they do for their souls?” (Tokyo Area Conference Report, Aug. 1975, pp. 38-39 as taken from Latter-day Commentary on the Book of Mormon compiled by K. Douglas Bassett, p.99)