Nephi mentioned himself first, which is appropriate: "It came to pass that I, Nephi, took one of the daughters of Ishmael to wife" (1 Nephi 16:7). It sounds as though he chose one of them. More likely though, is that Lehi and Ishmael had already figured out who was going to go with whom, and Nephi married the daughter that he was told to take. Recall that in 1 Nephi 7:19 there was one of the daughters of Ishmael who objected when Nephi was tied up. We may hope that this daughter was the one that Nephi deserved. We do not know that, though. It would have been nice if Nephi and his wife had some say in the matter and if Nephi had said more about it.
Nephi explained that his "brethren took of the daughters of Ishmael to wife; and Zoram took the eldest daughter of Ishmael to wife" (1 Nephi 16:7). Zoram is probably the oldest, so it makes some sense that he would marry Ishmael’s eldest daughter. But think about verse 8: "and thus my father had fulfilled all the commandments of the Lord which had been given unto him." What commandment was Nephi referring to? This surely refers, at least in part, to 1 Nephi 7:1, where the Lord commanded Lehi’s sons to "take daughters to wife, that they might raise up seed unto the Lord in the land of promise." In addition, it was a general responsibility of fathers in the ancient world to see that their children were married.
How might this story pertain to us today? Do we as parents or grandparents have any kind of obligation to help our children get married? Or can we just sit back and say, "Well, we have this 32-year-old son who likes playing his video games, and that is okay." What does the Doctrine and Covenants say about baptism? What does it say that parents need to do regarding that ordinance? It says that our children should all be baptized (see D&C 18:42; 68:27&28). And what happens if parents fail to teach that doctrine? "The sin be upon the head of the parents" (see D&C 68:25; cf. 93:40, 50).
Obviously, helping children keep any of the commandments, especially those involving entering into covenants, is part of a parent’s obligation. Parental responsibility involves helping our children choose good companions. To the best of our ability, we should see that they are raised around other children whose values are the same; hopefully that is what they will look for in a mate.
In our day, it has to be our children’s choice. We have responsibility to see that children are baptized, but they still have the choice. They must have "arrived at the years of accountability" (D&C 68:42), indicating that we ought not to take away their agency. The same principle even more strongly applies to the decision of whom they will marry and when.
In his conclusion of this segment, at the end of verse 8, Nephi says, "And also, I Nephi had been blessed of the Lord exceedingly." That was his comment about his state of marriage. He saw it as a state of great blessedness. I think it is important for us to be a good example, and to talk positively about marriage and the blessings it can bring.
Book of Mormon Central, "How Can the Book of Mormon Strengthen Marriages and Families? (Jacob 3:7)," KnoWhy 302 (April 19, 2017).
John L. Sorenson, "The Composition of Lehi’s Family," in Nephite Culture and Society: Collected Papers (Salt Lake City, UT: New Sage Books, 1997), 1–24.