Eph. 5:25, 28-29, 33; Col. 3:19; Conference Report, Hinckley, Apr. 1991; An Approach to the Book of Mormon, Nibley, 1957 ed., p. 214; Ensign, Nov. 1993, p. 17
“I learned respect for womanhood from my father’s tender caring for my mother, my sister, and his sisters. Father was the first to arise from dinner to clear the table… . In later years, after Mother had a stroke, father faithfully cared for her every need. The last two years of her life required 24-hour care, he being called by Mother every few minutes, day or night. I shall never forget his example of loving care for his cherished companion. He told me it was small payment for over fifty years of my mother’s loving devotion to him… . . Selfishness is so frequently at the core of family relationship problems. When individuals focus on their own selfish interests, they miss opportunities to listen, to understand, or to consider the other person’s feelings or needs.” (Robert D. Hales, Ensign, Nov. 1993, pp. 9-10)
“No tender hand of the sister gives a gentle touch of healing and encouragement which the hand of a man, however well intentioned, can ever quite duplicate… . However much priesthood power and authority the men may possess—however much wisdom and experience they may accumulate—the safety of the family, the integrity of the doctrine, the ordinances, the covenants, indeed the future of the Church, rests equally upon the women… . No man receives the fulness of the priesthood without a woman at his side. For no man, the Prophet said, can obtain the fulness of the priesthood outside the temple of the Lord. (See D&C 131:1-3). No man achieves the supernal exalting status of worthy fatherhood except as a gift from his wife.” (Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, May 1998, pp. 72-73)
“Brethren, please remember: The highest degree of glory is available to you only through that order of the priesthood linked to the new and everlasting covenant of marriage (See D&C 131:1-4). Therefore, your first priority in honoring the priesthood is to honor your eternal companion.” (Russell M. Nelson, Ensign, May 1993, p. 40)
“Those who enter into marriage should be fully prepared to establish their marriage as the first priority in their lives… . domestic harmony results from forgiving and forgetting, essential elements of a maturing marriage relationship. Someone has said that we should keep our eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterward. True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day… . Either partner who diminishes the divine role of the other in the presence of the children demeans the budding femininity within the daughters and the emerging manhood of the sons. I suppose there are always some honest differences between husband and wife, but let them be settled in private.” (James E. Faust, Ensign, May 1993, p. 36)
“The greatest joys of life are experienced in happy family relationships… . We have many failures in the world, but the greatest of these, in my judgment, is that failure which is found in broken homes… . The root of most of this lies in selfishness. The cure for most of it can be found in repentance on the part of the offender and forgiveness on the part of the offended… . The cultivation of such a home requires effort and energy, forgiveness and patience, love and endurance and sacrifice; but it is worth all of these and more. I have learned that the real essence of happiness in marriage lies not so much in romance as in an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. Thinking of self alone and of the gratification of personal desires will build neither trust, love, nor happiness. Only when there is unselfishness will love, with its concomitant qualities, flourish and blossom. Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but, rather, with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibilities and aspirations he or she might have.” (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, Aug. 1992, p. 6)
“The sensible couple or family who start on a trip in an automobile, whether on business or pleasure, with a promise of something valuable or worthwhile at the end of the journey, will not be deterred or thrown into panic if something goes wrong with the car. They stop and fix it or take it to a garage. If a new part is needed, which cannot be obtained at the service station or small town en route, and a layover is required while the garage man obtains and installs a new part, they, if they are wise and well adjusted, will make good use of the enforced rest. Without recriminations or worry, they will see the sights of the area, get acquainted with some of the people, go to a show, and, in various ways, turn what might have been a tragedy into a holiday and enrich the trip for all. They continue on and win the reward. [Likewise], if something goes wrong in the home, or if there is a storm of quarreling, caused by tensions and triggered by temper, why not be as wise and sane here as on an automobile trip. Why not relax, go for a walk, chop some wood, whip up a cake, get some recreation, and let the storm blow over as all storms do? Unfortunately, some couples, in such situations, figuratively set fire to the car and walk off in opposite directions into the desert, without regard for the welfare of other members of the family, and convert what was a minor matter to an irreparable tragedy. Oh, that married people would grow up and act their age!” (Hugh B. Brown, You and Your Marriage, pp. 53-54)
“Many years ago I had the opportunity to deliver a commencement address to a graduating class. I had gone to the home of President Hugh B. Brown that we might drive together to the university where he was to conduct the exercises and I was to speak. As President Brown entered my car, he said, ‘Wait a moment.’ He looked toward the large bay window of his lovely home, and then I realized what he was looking for. The curtain parted, and I saw Sister Zina Brown, his beloved companion of well over fifty years, at the window, propped up in a wheelchair, waving a little white handkerchief. President Brown took from his inside coat pocket a white handkerchief, which he waved to her in return. Then, with a smile, he said to me, ‘Let’s go.’ As we drove, I asked President Brown to tell me about the sign of the white handkerchiefs. He related to me the following incident: ‘The first day after Sister Brown and I were married, as I went to work I heard a tap at the window, and there was Zina, waving a white handkerchief. I found mine and waved in reply. From that day until this I have never left my home without that little exchange between my wife and me. It is a symbol of our love one for another. It is an indication to one another that all will be well until we are joined together at eventide.’” (Thomas S. Monson, Ensign, Nov. 1992, p. 98)
“Personal ego and pride—both are enemies to the full enjoyment of the Spirit of God and walking humbly before him. The ego interferes with husbands and wives asking each other for forgiveness. It prevents the enjoyment of the full sweetness of a higher love. The ego often prevents parents and children from fully understanding each other. The ego enlarges our feelings of self-importance and worth. It blinds us to reality.” (James E. Faust, Ensign, May 1994, p.6)
“Don’t be too critical of each other’s faults. Recognize that none of us is perfect. We all have a long way to go… . Generally, each of us is painfully aware of our weaknesses, and we don’t need frequent reminders. Few people have ever changed for the better as a result of constant criticism or nagging. If we are not careful, some of what we offer as constructive criticism is actually destructive.
As a newlywed, Sister Lola Walters read in a magazine that in order to strengthen a marriage a couple should have regular, candid sharing sessions in which they would list any mannerisms they found to be annoying. She wrote: … ‘I told him that I didn’t like the way he ate grapefruit. He peeled it and ate it like an orange! Nobody else I knew ate grapefruit like that. Could a girl be expected to spend a lifetime, and even eternity, watching her husband eat grapefruit like an orange? … After I finished, it was his turn to tell the things he disliked about me… . [He] said, ‘Well, to tell the truth, I can’t think of anything I don’t like about you, Honey.’ … I quickly turned my back, because I didn’t know how to explain the tears that had filled my eyes and were running down my face. Sister Walters concluded: Whenever I hear of married couples being incompatible, I always wonder if they are suffering from what I now call the Grapefuit Syndrome’ (Ensign, Apr. 1993, p. 13).
Be swift to say, ‘I apologize, and please forgive me,’ even though you are not the one who is totally at fault. True love is developed by those who are willing to readily admit personal mistakes and offenses. When differences do arise, being able to discuss and resolve them is important, but there are instances when it is best to take a time-out. Biting your tongue and counting to ten or even a hundred is important. And occasionally, even letting the sun go down on your wrath can help bring you back to the problem in the morning more rested, calm, and with a better chance for resolution… . Any intelligent couple will have differences of opinion. Our challenge is to be sure that we know how to resolve them.” (Joe J. Christensen, Ensign, May 1995, pp. 64-65)